O ka moana hanupanupa

Lalala i kala hanahana

(cover)

(link.)

Can I ask you a question?

Was it worth it? Was it worth losing and hurting everyone you knew? The past two weeks there have been so many things I've wanted to tell you. Within the past week I wish you were here with me more than ever. I'm not going to hold back. My feelings were really hurt. And they still are. Each day I spitefully wait to hear from you to deny you what you want. But as much as I want to hurt you the way you hurt me, I keep hurting. When I saw it, it made me happy. Not just because I knew you were hurt and alone, but because it was something you needed to do. But then again, what do I know. It's been maybe two days? And in another two it'll return? I wish we could talk, I really do, but I don't want to unless I get an apology - which I know I'm not going to get (a sincere one at least).

In the back of my head, I kept saying, "oh! I should put that in my blog!" but I've pretty much have forgotten all of it. Which makes this post EXTREMELY lively.

My mini cold (or swine flu as Kaysie called it) is pretty much gone. Most of the time I don't get sick during school, it's usually when the semester ends I get deathly ill. Like I was sick twice this past June. It's my body's way of letting go of all of the tension, sleepless nights, nonstop working, and never eating. Then all of a sudden I'm on my death bed, not breathing, and gasping for air.

At work I think my BFF is made up. It's kind of weird. Like, people would talk about him even if he wasn't there. He was working like every single day and joking that he probably makes my pay check in two days. Some days would even be 12 hours. This week, he's gone. I saw him Monday... And Tuesday he wasn't there. Friday I saw him for maybe 15 minutes of the five hours I was there. Today, he wasn't even there. I think he was too good to be true. So... we'll see if he's there tomorrow, and if he isn't then, I think he was just a figment of my imagination. Everything about him was too perfect (except his face).

Oh and as an update: I'm still a shitty person. (But not as shitty as others!)

(Gross. Don't click unless you want to.)

Anyone who says I don't need a pedicure needs to stop doing crack.

(link)

As a Hannah Montana viewer, this is really cute. I know I'm 12 and dumb. Go ahead and try and judge me. (You just wish you were around to hear me sing the JoBros when I'm home alone.)

PS: New layout. Whatchu think?

You're getting worse and I know That you'll be calling, calling, calling me again

Link.

Two weekends in a row I have been let down by people I used to care about and I stupidly thought they care about me. But it isn't anything out of the ordinary for any of them. I am pretty sure I am okay with never speaking to any of you again. Yeah, one hurts more than the others, but it's whatever, I've made it this far without you. Without ANY of you. This isn't the first time I've made a descion like this. And in the end, I was right. But what do I know?

It's kind of ironic. You never took the time to find out why I was upset. And in the end, you did it too. But it's not like knowing would've made a difference. I knew I wasn't going to see you. I'll never see you again. And that's not my problem. You have to live knowing you screwed up.

I don't care.

I have more important things to worry about.

For instance...

- school

- work

- babysitting

- mistress-ing

But in the end, none of you care about my life. You're all a bunch of self-centered, assholes.

I need some ben&jerrys, JONAS, and Minutemen.

Please remove me permanetly from your life and stop pretending to care. I don't need any of you.

Bye.

I'm really cool by the way. We could make this work.

bears and pizza. life is awesome.

bearthefuckdown.