Self-centered, it's ironic.

I'm slowly getting over myself, but my self esteem has yet to hit rock bottom - it just keeps dropping. Everyday I continue to think about how I'll never be good enough, how fat I am, and how ugly in general I look. I don't think I can keep doing this. I'm tired of being a gross mess, but there's nothing I can really do about it, can I?

So this weekend my dad was up from Florida in Jersey so I had Saturday and Sunday off to spend time with him since I haven't seen him since November and who knows when I'll see him again.

It was an adventure for me because I had to find my way up there through public transportation. Which was pretty cool because it was my first time experimenting, but the cool thing is I can now get to New York on my own if I wanted - not like I would have a purpose in New York anyway. The point is, I can say I successfully used multiple forms of transportation with out any anxiety attacks or mistakes.

My dad's friend Barbara held a big BBQ with all of their friends so I got to see people who I haven't seen since I was 13 or younger. I just wanted to make a big announcement "I LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA. I GO TO UARTS. I AM A COMMUNICATION MAJOR. I WANT TO BE A WRITER." And then make my grand exit for everyone to talk shit behind my back. "She's such a bitch." "She's so ugly." "She got so heavy!" It would've been better that way. I also had a blast having nine little kids screaming my name all wanting me to play nine different games... ALL AT ONCE.

Today we went to New Hope which is like a little shopping village that is full of bikers, hippies, and gays. Oh and "Indian Dress Shops." Over-priced tourist area on narrow walk ways on the Delaware. Woo hoo. I got sunburned, a henna tattoo, and the record store is no where to be found.

Now I'm tired as fuck, in need of olive oil, and just plain annoyed with everything.

I'd post pictures of my henna and my dad being retarded on here, but my card reader is missing. I'll just have to wait for everyone to post the pictures on facebook.

Here are some gross ones to hold you over until then.

My hair only straightens well at 2am.

This is me trying to be cute, but instead I just looks like a stiff dumbass.

Bad hair, crooked eyes, no cleavage, pointy chin.

Um, ew.

Sun burn and old lady boobs.

Henna - three stars. I like the idea of a tattoo there of random stars but I'm too afraid to commit to a tattoo.

Normal pose.