I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - confess (So bury me in memory)

Now ash yourself, yeah, out on the insides, said I loved you but I lied

News Flash:

I. AM. A. BITCH.

Here's your self-centered post:

Guess what? I'm done. I can't do this anymore.

I am going to say it: We're not friends anymore.

Why? You're immature and a sore loser.

immatureadjective1 an immature Stilton cheese unripe, not mature, premature, unmellowed; undeveloped,unformed, unfinished, raw, embryonic. antonym ripe.2 an extremely immature girl childish, babyish, infantile, juvenile, adolescent, puerile,sophomoric, jejune, callow, green, tender, young, inexperienced, unsophisticated,unworldly, naive; informal wet behind the ears. See note at youthful . antonym mature,worldly.

Just so we're clear...

You and your ego got bent out of shape because you put yourself in the middle of something that had nothing to do with you to begin with, and then I made a few points defending myself and my likes, and all of a sudden I'm an asshole.

I really like your method: you can do and say whatever you want, but as soon as I kiss a boy I'm a slut and when I defend myself I'm an asshole. I forgot my place as a woman, I have to deal with whatever is said to me and keep my mouth shut. You and my favorite person in the world, my father, have the same view: women should be seen and not heard.

When would you like me to come over and do your laundry? I promise I'll wear nothing but a thong! (And that will save me time to find you good porn because you'll have live action voyerism right in front of you!)

Also, I really like the discussion you're having with your friends over how much of an asshole I am. It's reassuring. And I appreciate the insults from your sister - who's never even met me, she's just heard about how slutty and evil I am. Does she know that you expect women to keep their mouth's shut?

Hi, how are you! I am the evil slut your brother has been obsessed with since we were freshman in high school. I'm sorry for being a human being and I was not aware of the "situation" we were in. I hope you liked the shirt that I bought you! Have a great day!

My friends know how immature you are for getting bent out of shape over a Facebook comment. (What exactly was offensive, the fact that I stood up for myself or the fact that I called bull shit on your football habits?) And we make fun of you for your unrealistic point of view. Like I said before, usually the other person knows when you're in a relationship with them. (Then again, knowing me, I probably would've pulled the same slutty moves even if I did know, right?)

I suggest you take the dunda out of your ass before I shove another one up there to make you more of a stuck up, dickhead.

I am going to continue to be a bitch and asshole.

I am going to continue to like guys.

I am going to continue to flirt.

I am going to continue to myself.

I don't need you to make me happy and I certainly don't need you to exert the energy to bend over backwards for me. I was never worth it. And I'm glad I was waste of time.

And if you're really pissed that I stood up for myself and bitched you out - think about our first encounters: you harassed me and I yelled at you.

This formula is nothing new.

I'm fed up with your harassment and double standards.

And you're fed up with me being a strong person and a bitch.

Reality sucks, doesn't it?

And yet you still have no idea how I feel.

You're still the victim to my evil, bitchy ways.

I guess I really need to work on not having feelings, because who knew that it was against the law for women to feel anything and to have emotions!

(I can't imagine how terrible of a person I must be for liking football and baseball AND KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON!)

What year is it? 1952? My bad, for some reason I thought it was 2010.